Our anticipation reached almost boiling point on Christmas Eve when our parents made us go to bed as early as possible (for those in all states but Queensland this meant going to bed when it was daylight usually) with the fear that if we didn’t go to bed ‘Santa’ may miss our house and then the joy and excitement of waiting to see what ‘Santa’ had left in our stockings, under the tree, or for the writer, a large Christmas pillow case.

Christmas morning was all about emptying the stocking (or pillow case) one item at a time and then, once the stocking was empty (and shaken to be sure of this), time was spent looking at each item, checking it all out, looking at what siblings received and getting excited all over again at the number of new things I received.

After the excitement of the stocking inspection finished, typically it was breakfast time which normally consisted of a ‘big breakfast’ or a buffet breakfast to cater for everyone.  It was a time to relax after the Christmas opening, a day when I knew, even as a child, that it was a rare occasion in a household with at least 1 working parent, that no one had to go anywhere.

At various times as I was growing up my parents took me to church on Christmas morning and whilst this was not such a terrible thing (and not the subject of this article), the interference of my Christmas day was something that upset me even though I knew that I was returning to my presents and the Christmas lunch (no doubt the irony of my sense of injustice will not be lost on those who attend Christian churches).

In a perfect world, all children should be able to enjoy this whole day with their parents and their families and whilst Christmas has a different meaning for many, from most children’s perspective it means Santa, presents, food and family (most likely in that order too)!

For most children in separated families, Christmas is not as described above, sometimes in the lead up to Christmas, Mum and Dad have been fighting about who has what time on Christmas Day, what day the mid part of the school holiday falls, and what day school holidays actually start, on top of this is the financial stress of Christmas suffered by many families (usually in an effort to give their child(ren) an enjoyable Christmas) as well as work stress at this time of year.

Many of us forget that children observe everything, and a lot of the time the things we do not want them to hear, see or feel (including our stresses and conflict) is what they pick up on.  Then on Christmas Day, children are removed from one parent to another.

Without a doubt, in most matters before the Court, an Order is made allowing a child (or children) to enjoy part of the Christmas period with both of their parents.  The Court recognises that Christmas (or the Christmas period being from Christmas Eve to Boxing Day) is an important day in the calendar of most households but it is important to remember that the Court’s role is what is in the best interest of a child (or children); not what the parents want.

In so many parenting matters before the Court, the Judge is often heard telling parents words to the effect of “you are the best people to decide on the arrangements for your children, I do not know your children”, it is common sense really.